Self-Compassion and Mindfulness
SELF-COMPASSION
Self-compassion is a person’s positive relationship with themselves and a healthy attitude toward themselves. In other words, it is showing oneself the same compassion that one shows to others.
Being at peace with oneself and approaching oneself with understanding enables a person to be at peace with humanity, nature, and their surroundings. In this way, the ability to regulate emotions increases, productivity improves, and consequently the prevalence of mental disorders such as depression—often caused by feelings of guilt and regret—decreases.
Self-compassion has three components: “self-kindness,” “common humanity,” and “mindfulness.”
- Self-kindness means treating oneself with understanding and kindness rather than being critical or judgmental in situations of mistakes or failure, and offering oneself the necessary support and compassion in difficult times.
- Common humanity refers to accepting that no one is perfect and that everyone can make mistakes.
- Mindfulness is related to being aware of disturbing thoughts and emotions in a balanced way, rather than being overwhelmed by them. In other words, it is accepting the present situation as it is, without judgment. For example, it is important to say “I had an accident” rather than “I had an accident because of my carelessness.” Because if we cannot free ourselves from negative interpretations, we eliminate the motivation that would lead us to solutions.
Showing self-compassion allows a person to recognize, understand, and accept themselves. This insight developed about oneself expands and enhances the ability to recognize, understand, and accept other people, living beings, and the world.
MINDFULNESS
In simple terms, it is a conscious awareness of the present moment. It means focusing only on what we are doing at that moment, feeling it fully, without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future—experiencing the present completely. For example, when hugging a loved one, it means not thinking about what you need to buy from the market.
Mindfulness exercises are a kind of life practice. They can be applied anytime, anywhere, by anyone. They are practiced by focusing on the breath, the body, or bodily sensations. For example, observing the breath as it enters through the nose, noticing the rise and fall of the abdomen, and following its exit while also becoming aware of thoughts that arise and the emotions they create—without judgment—is a mindfulness exercise. It is like lying on the grass and watching the clouds while noticing and observing the thoughts passing through the mind. The thoughts that pass through our minds and the inner voice that criticizes and blames us can lead to emotions such as anxiety, anger, sadness, and stress. Sometimes we get caught up in these thoughts and experience an inner struggle. Mindfulness, instead of fighting or trying to control these thoughts and emotions, allows us to participate in the natural flow of life.
For example, in the sea, many different types and intensities of waves occur—sometimes small waves, sometimes very large ones, and sometimes giant waves like a tsunami. Yet even with the largest waves, the ocean does not fall apart. This is because the ocean has a vast capacity to contain all kinds of waves until they settle. Similarly, mindfulness helps us develop an inner awareness and acceptance as vast as the ocean. Through mindfulness practice, we gain the ability to observe all kinds of thoughts and emotions without discomfort and to tolerate them until their intensity decreases.
In other words, mindfulness is the ability to observe events in our inner and outer world without judgment while focusing our attention on the present moment. Emotions, thoughts, and sensations are constantly flowing, temporary, and always changing. Rather than letting them carry us away, allowing them to flow and simply observing them when we notice them is sufficient.
For example, in panic disorder, a person may focus excessively on bodily sensations such as palpitations, sweating, or rapid breathing, which can also occur during fast walking. By closely monitoring and interpreting every bodily sensation, they may perceive them as signs of impending disaster and effectively trigger a panic attack themselves. In such cases, learning through mindfulness techniques to observe bodily sensations without interpretation, simply until they pass, can provide significant progress in the treatment of panic attacks.
What mindfulness is not:
- It is not about controlling thoughts.
- It is not about calming the mind.
- It is not about clearing the mind.
- It is not about emptying the mind.
- It is not about turning negative thoughts into positive ones.
Benefits of mindfulness:
- Helps improve focus and attention.
- Enhances psychological flexibility.
- Prevents getting lost in thoughts and emotions.
- Encourages appropriate responses rather than emotional reactions.
- Helps us become aware of our inner journey.
Psychiatrist Dr. Arzu Dalmış